Down Time 5
by Lordoftheghostking28
Summary: Link and Navi's adventures while saving Hyrule. Or at least trying to save it. Come on guys, step it up! I can't believe you two were entrusted to killing Ganondorf. Join them as they face evil chickens, Navi's Grandma, Ganondorf, their Dark Selves, and more! Complete unless I get a sudden idea and decide to add it.
1. Link's Most Dreaded and Feared Foe

**Down Time 5**

**(There is still no Down Time 3)**

**XxXxXxXx**

**Ok, this time I'm back with Ocarina of Time stuff, because I recently got the game (And completed it!) along with Majora's Mask. So expect **_**Down Time 6**_** within a few months as well.**

**Oh, and there's actually a little bit of a PLOT within this madness! *Le gasp* So it's not just insane things happening!**

**Also Epona's song…when it's sung by that girl in Lon Lon Ranch in the middle of the night it's kinda creepy. It always made me shiver.**

**And now, a trippy story.**

**XxXxXxXx**

**Chapter 1: Link's Most Dreaded and Feared Foe.**

"_Hey! Hey! Listen! Hey!_"

Link ignored the little blue puffball of a fairy that was clinging to his unfortunately large nose and continued chucking rocks at the wall.

"_Hey! Hey! Listen! Hey! Hey! Listen!_"

"What?!" Link was tempted to throw a rock at the fairy, but he would probably end up hitting himself in the face.

"_Link…try to keep moving!_" Navi offered unhelpfully.

With a rage filled scream, Link aggressively somersaulted, which did absolutely nothing, except carry him all the way from Hyrule Castle's walls to Lon Lon Ranch. Feeling incredibly dizzy, and confused at the rapid passing of time, he stood and wondered like a drunk into the now dark ranch, more than once tripping over a chicken thing.

Haunting music filled the area. Link pulled out his sword and ran face first into the horse pen. The music stopped to be replaced by a giggle. "Do you like my mother's song? She used to sing this to me all the time!"

Link clumsily pulled out his Ocarina and sloppily played the song, which earned him a horse hoof to the crotch as Epona came galloping over in a frenzy from the familiar song that was usually played before she got carrots.

"Hee hee! I think she likes you!" the ranch girl giggled as Epona snuffed at Link as he curled into a pained ball on the ground. The horse put a hoof on his side and casually walked over him, disappointed there were no carrots to be found. Luckily, Link had a fairy in a bottle, which revived him in a cry of, "_I'M FREEEEE…_!" before disintegrating into the air and dying.

"_Hey, hey, hey, hey, listen!_" Navi squeaked. "_Link…try to keep moving!_"

Link reached up, grabbed the fairy, and jammed her into the bottle.

**XxXxXxXx**

Morning came rather quickly. Or it could just be due to the fact that days and nights in Hyrule last approximately thirty seconds. Seriously, the moon is like shooting across the sky. I thought I was playing _Majora's Mask_ for a while, but no DAWN OF THE FIRST DAY showed up.

Anyway, Link had successfully bonded with Epona and the two were frolicking in the horse pen. They were playing a game called, 'Smash the Bottle'.

"_HEEEEY!_" Navi shrieked, but no one paid her any attention.

Lon Lon Ranch Girl clapped and giggled gleefully.

Meanwhile, when no one was looking, the evil ranch owner locked them in because he was a shady dude who wanted to give the beautiful mare to Ganondorf instead of the pure-hearted Link. Seriously. No one liked this dude.

Eventually, after figuring out little glass bottles were somehow indestructible, Link turned to go with his new horse. He reluctantly picked up the bottled fairy and he and Epona trotted over to the gates, only to find them closed.

"Wa-ha-ha-ha!" the evil, shady dude snorted. "I'm not letting you leave this ranch alive!"

Link pulled a superb 'getting _reeeaaal_ tired of your shit' face and backed the horse up, looking for an alternate route out of the ranch.

As he did so, the back of Epona's left hoof grazed a nearby chicken's feathers. It stopped its pecking at the ground as its head shot up, its eyes turning a deep, merciless crimson. It squawked loudly, summoning its demonic brethren to the sacrifice of the heroic hero of Hyrule.

In a flurry of feathers, the chickens all leapt at his face and pecked at his unfortunately large nose.

"_AAAAAGH!_" Link screamed, falling off Epona, who seemed indifferent nor affected by the sudden turn of events. He rolled around for a bit, trying to minimize the pain.

Inside the bottle, Navi cackled evilly. She was safe from the evil poultry.

Meanwhile, the shady dude was busy writing a letter to the Evil King Ganondorf.

"Oh-ho-ho-ho! Ganondorf! I have killed the Hero of Time! Come down to the ranch quickly so you may see proof! You shall reign forever king!" he spoke as he wrote, for some unnecessary reason. The letter was picked up by a crow, which flew off in the general direction of said Evil King.

Link eventually rolled into a group of bushes and gave a dying sound. The chickens pecked at him a bit longer before waddling stupidly out of his grave of leaves, their beaks and feathers stained red. They continued examining the ground for any sort of nourishment like nothing happened.

Joke's on them, because Link wasn't actually dead yet.

"_Hey, hey, listen! Let me out!_" Navi screeched.

Link reached over with the last of his dying strength and uncapped the bottle, setting the dumb fairy free. Navi swirled around him like the other fairies did, somehow restoring him to full health.

"That was horrifying…" Link squeaked. "I…I hate chickens…!"

"_Hey! Hey! Hurry! We have to leave! Ganondorf is on the way!_" Navi insisted, bouncing on his forehead. "_If he finds out you really aren't dead, he'll kill you himself!_"

Already, it was getting dark outside. Link used the cover of darkness to pick up a bush and sort of crawl along the ground, like a mini mobile forest. The chickens didn't pay him any attention.

Unfortunately, he was too late.

In a very overdramatic explosion of dark energy or something, Ganondorf appeared next to the shady ranch dude, who cowered in fear.

"You have killed the Hero of Time, then?" the Evil King growled.

"Yes, sir! In those bushes!" The shady dude pointed to the bloodstained greenery. No one cast a second glance at the bush moving like a caterpillar toward Epona.

"We need a distraction." Link muttered. "I can't fight him yet…and if I do, he'll kill me!"

"Where is he?!" Ganondorf bellowed. "The Hero is not here! You have lied!"

"I'm sorry, sir! I just saw him here!" The shady dude squeaked.

"Distraction…distraction…" Link thought out loud.

Luck was on his side. As he watched, Ganondorf's cape brushed against a chicken's head as it grazed. Its head shot up and its eyes turned crimson as it gave a shout for its hellish brethren to attack…

A wave of white feathers barreled into Ganondorf, clucking and screeching. He gave a girlish scream and ran, the shady ranch guy on his heels. The two of them ran from the ranch, the chickens from hell hot on their trail.

Link clutched his bush and slithered onto Epona's back, securing the plant on his shoulders. Perhaps he thought he looked like a bush with legs…he just looked stupid to Navi.

The two of them and Epona hurriedly galloped away, the sun already rising in the distance.

**XxXxXxXx**

**Yeah...I don't know what to think. **

**Remember to review, and tell me how you like this so far! Requests may be written.**

**Hasta la Vista, Readers!**

**Lordoftheghostking28**


	2. Conquer Yourself!

**Ok, next bit…I know what you're thinking.**

**This is gonna be good. Well, you're right. **

**XxXxXxXx**

**Conquer Yourself!**

"Day fifteen hundred, thirty five." Link wrote in a mini notebook. "I'm still stuck in the Water Temple. I've also been married to a Zora. I ran out of bombs. I'm eighteen and still haven't shaven once in my life. How can this get any worse?"

Navi rolled her eyes (That is, saying she has eyes) and bumped into Link's back. "_Hey! Hurry up!_"

"I've been hurrying for fifteen hundred, thirty five days!" Link tried unsuccessfully to phase through the wall. "I haven't seen daylight for years!"

"_It's been two hours,_" Navi chirped.

"Well, it sure feels like fifteen hundred, thirty five days." Link muttered, discarding the notebook and pen he was complaining/writing in.

"_Just move! The sooner we get out of here, the better!_"

"Yeah, wet boots are the worst." Link growled, throwing open the door to the next room.

A hazy mist greeted them, a small island in the center of the room. A thin layer of water covered the ground, and everything was reflected perfectly in a slightly darker hue.

"Whoa, I'm out! I did it!" Link cheered. He frolicked a bit and climbed the tree, swinging from its branches and casting a gleeful reflection. "Whee!"

"_Uhm_…" Navi squeaked. "_That door over there! It's barred! But its reflection isn't!_"

Link stopped swinging from the tree and went over to said door on the opposite side of the room. "Hmm…strange. Maybe I'm supposed to switch worlds or something." He pointed at the door's reflection. "Abracadabra!"

"_Link, don't move!_" Navi screeched.

Said hero froze. "What is it?! Is there a spider on my back?!"

"_Link, your reflection! It's gone!_"

Link wiggled his arm a bit, surprised to see he didn't even cast a shadow anymore. "That's weird…"

"_But…but…you just had one a second ago! After you jumped down from the tree…! It vanished!_"

"The tree?" Link slowly turned to stare back at the tree…

…and came face-to-face with himself.

"_YYEEEAAAHHH!_" the Hero screamed, nearly throwing his sword in his haste to run away from his murderous shadow/reflection dude, who calmly stared him down with red eyes. As Navi watched, he seemed to be growing more solid…

"Navi!? What do I do?!" Link backed up as fast as his double advanced.

"_That's Dark Link, Link! Conquer yourself!_"

"Yeah, that doesn't sound weird at all…"

"_I'll just hang out on top of this tree._" Navi rested atop the accursed tree and before long, Dark Navi appeared. It was even more annoying than the first. The two fairies began a brutal battle.

Back to our easily surprised Hero, Link was attempting to half-heartedly slash out at his dark self, but his evil double was too fast. He leapt atop his blade and delivered and nasty slash to the back of Link's neck, sending the hero stumbling back. With a deep-voiced, "HEYA!", Dark Link slashed out again, Link barely blocking the attack.

"How come you have a more manly voice?!" Link whined. "You're supposed to be me!"

Dark Link either didn't hear him or didn't care. He slashed out again, sending Link back into the corner. "_NAAAAVI!_" In a panic, he drew out the Mega-Ton Hammer and swung like mad, eventually hitting Dark and sending him falling through the reflective surface.

It was quiet for a few seconds, as Navi had already defeated her evil self.

"That went well!" Link beamed. "That was actually a lot of fun!" He strode around the room triumphantly. "I could do that again!"

"_Looks like you're gonna have to!_" Navi flew into a corner.

"Wha…?" Link turned and ducked just in time as Dark threw his Dark Master Sword at his head. "I WAS KIDDING! I DON'T WANT TO FIGHT YOU AGAIN! I'M SCARED! HOW DID YOU EVEN COME BACK?!"

Dark again ignored him and retrieved his sword. Link decided to man up and actually fight this time, and the two began a fruitless sword clashing battle, in which they just made a lot of noise and nothing really happened. Meanwhile, Navi began a journal.

"_Day fifteen hundred and thirty six…_" she wrote. "_I haven't seen the sun in years. Link is a moron, and I regret ever listening to the Great Deku Tree._"

Meanwhile, the two Links seemed to be having a battle over who could yell the loudest, in which Dark, with his deeper, more manly-er voice, was winning.

"_COULD YOU KEEP IT DOWN?!_" Navi shouted. She then went back to writing. "_Dark Link is very much like Link himself…loud and obnoxious._"

Both Links stopped fighting at this comment and stared at the fairy. "_We're_ obnoxious?" Link asked.

Navi ignored him and kept writing. "_Also I have learned he has a crush on Zelda. I found his stash of love letters the other day._"

"I do not!" Link blushed. Dark put a hand on his shoulder as if to say, '_That's all right, I, too, have a special someone in my life I'm too shy to approach._'

"_And when will he grow up? ...Oops, he already did._" Navi finished.

Link cast Dark a look, which he returned. The two of them hefted their swords, not at each other, but at the fairy.

"_Hey, what are you doing?_" Navi screeched as Dark grabbed her and stuffed her in the open bottle Link had.

"For the record, it was not fifteen hundred and thirty six days!" Link said. "It was two hours and thirty minutes!" he stashed the bottle in his pack.

Unfortunately, at this time, Dark began to melt into the other world. He gave a little wave and vanished, once again becoming Link's reflection.

"Nooo!" Link shouted. "Just when I made a friend…!"

"_He'll always be with you_." Navi growled. "_He is your reflection and shadow, after all._"

The door that was once barred was open, the one in the reflection, barred.

**XxXxXxXx**

**I actually hated the Forest Temple more than the Water Temple. I loved the Dark Link battle, though. It was awesome.**

**Remember to review!**

**Hasta la Vista, Readers!**

**Lordoftheghostking28**


	3. Wells are Not Good Places for Demons

**Wells are Not Good Places for Demons.**

**XxXxXxXx**

Kakariko Village. Such a lovely town. Full of loverly people, places, graveyards, windmills, and strange people dancing around a tree when you first walk in.

It is also home to chickens, mutant spider people, and wells full of demons.

Despite these rather odd attractions, the village is a pleasant place to be in.

"Hey, can you gather up all my lost chickens? I'll give you a reward if you do." The chicken lady standing by an empty coop said.

"No amount of money can convince me to go near those things!" Link shouted, stumbling into a house in his haste to escape responsibility.

It was rather dark, but he could see. He walked further into the house, calling, "Hello? Anyone here?"

A giant spider fell from the roof. Link took one look at it and screamed, turning the opposite direction and running back the way he had come. Another smaller spider fell in front of him, making him turn the other way, still screaming.

"No! No! Stop that! We're under a curse! It's not our fault we're spiders!" the big spider said.

Link ran screaming from the house. He didn't stop screaming until he shot a fire arrow at the place, catching it ablaze. He stood there and watched it burn.

"Oh my…" the chicken lady said. "Um…here. Take this as a token of my thanks." She handed over a large egg, which Link grudgingly accepted and somehow fit in his shirt without having an awkward man boob.

"_We need a place to stay for the night_." Navi chirped.

"Yeah, I know." Link said. "There's a house over there that looks like an inn."

He booked a room in Impa's old house for the night and had scrambled eggs for dinner.

Later, there was a fierce knock at the door. Link shuffled outside, surprised to see Shiek standing near the well. The spider house was still burning.

"Don't come closer, Link! The evil demon in the well is breaking lose! It's already set fire to the town!" he said.

"Oh, uh…about the fire…" Link started, but he never got to finish as a giant plume of darkness shot from the well and swept him off his feet, throwing him into the air. He landed awkwardly on his neck and watched as the darkness sort of flew off toward the graveyard before passing out.

**XxXxXxXx**

Link was awoken by something thudding on the roof above him. He opened his eyes, confused to find himself in some sort of a box. He realized with horror that he was being buried.

"_LET ME OUUUT!_" he shouted.

"Alas! Another Re-Dead!" a voice said from outside the casket. "I know what to do!" The lid was taken off, sunlight pouring into the grave. Link was about to say something when a spade came down on his head, knocking him out again.

**XxXxXxXx**

"Dampé, as you can see, he is not a Re-Dead."

"Sure looked like one to me!"

Link slowly awoke and shook dirt from his hair, wondering where he was. He spotted an ugly old guy and Shiek talking. As soon as the ugly guy saw he was awake, he shouted, "RE-DEAD!" and threw a spade at his head.

_Oh, come on_…Link thought to himself.

It hit Link's head with a CLONK and the world faded out again.

**XxXxXxXx**

"Are you still alive?"

Link opened his eyes again, relieved to see that the old, ugly guy was gone. Only Shiek remained.

"Yeah, I hope so." Link muttered.

"Oh good. I'm going to teach you an Ocarina song."

"But I feel like crap…"

"This is the _Nocturne of Shadow_." Shiek said before launching into a beautiful solo-tastic musical number.

"I can't do stuff right now…I fell like crap…!" Link groaned.

"Now you have learned the _Nocturne of Shadow_. Contact me if you have any questions." Shiek said before vanishing.

"I really didn't sign up for this Hero stuff…" Link moaned.

**XxXxXxXx**

**I'm still confused if Shiek is supposed to be a guy or a girl.**

**Anyway, remember to review! More on the way!**

**Hasta la Vista, Readers!**

**Lordoftheghostking28**


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